What a shock to the system! Are you kidding me? The Home Alone kid turned thirty today? It seems like that movie just came out a few years ago. I was young and just starting out in my adult life! Where did all the years go? Did they leave for a Holiday Vacation without me?I feel like I'm alone trying to defend my midlife from greasy bandits who want to steal all my time and energy and leave the water running.
I'll fix them! I'll connect a heating iron to the front door, tar and feather them at the window, pour water on the front steps to freeze and swing paint buckets down the staircase at them! You're not going to make off with my midlife greasy bandits! I don't care how old and creepy Macaulay gets!
Does this sound senile? Sorry, that wasn't me. That was the audio on some old movie clips I spliced together to fool you!
